I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
