what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Alive.
So much puke
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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