woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
operation have a gay friend backfired
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
