Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
