I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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