If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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