ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
