I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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