Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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