her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
