No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
