So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize