But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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