i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Can Purell be used as lube?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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