So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize
