I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
