The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
