Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
