so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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