I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
