I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
