I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He shit in the fireplace
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
