Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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