Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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