# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
