Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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