Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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