My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
