what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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