I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
