well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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