Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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