I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Everything about him screamed your future.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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