dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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