Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
