The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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