I hate your face
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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