The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
