You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
