Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
