I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
