I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
