woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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