If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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