Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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