who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Need sex. Gaining weight.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
