Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
