She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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