this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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