you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
