Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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