dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I woke up under a house in Key West
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
