finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
