I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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