that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
