Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize