So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Randomize
