There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just want nice things and good sex
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
