Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
