oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
