I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
