love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
