Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
