I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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