He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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