The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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