I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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