Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
When are your genitals available?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
